My Social Butterfly!

 My Social Butterfly!!!

"Live in the present", "Enjoy the present- for it is the Gift of God"

Life seems to be running quick, the days are a blur! I am trying to keep calm as my eldest is turning 6!!! She is officially moving out from the Kindergarten phase! And the personality she already has makes me go O.M.G!!! I hope and pray she preserves her character and only gets better with age 🙏

Obviously I'm looking back at the last six years! I still vividly remember the whole pregnancy journey, the day she was born, the first few months of being a new mama bear (started off rough, but I eventually found my balance). My darling daughter filled me up in ways I could never have imagined! She has been my rock, my best friend, my crazy partner ever since 💕!!

This June, my missy graduated!! Of course from Kindergarten, but still, she did so great that I was virtually in tears (virtual school = virtual tears, get it?) when the online graduation was happening!

First day in School

She started off her Junior Kindergarten (JK) in September 2019. The start was all great! Girl was mighty prepared, she is a pro in socializing, loves meeting new folks. So the school transition was a breeze. She was enjoying the new place, new class, new friends, new toys/activities, new routine. Probably because she liked meeting new people, God blessed her with so many new teachers every few months! The designated teacher for her class was on personal leave for a significant part of the year so there were way too many temporary teachers throughout the year. Thankfully, she took it well, wasn't really bothered by that. The year was moving along well, but then this nasty COVID came from nowhere! Shut were the doors to the school, virtual drama began! This was tough. All of a sudden her energy had no outlet! We were working the whole day and she was on her own! Like in every household, the stress of having to provide an outlet to the child, but having no means to do so, trying to find a balance between childcare, work, household, mental sanity for all, was beyond us!!! I would have liked for her to have had at least one proper, smooth school year! 

First day in SK, in the new school amid COVID

For the Senior Kindergarten, missy had a new school!! (Ha - Life happens, things change!) Again, new friends, new teachers (thankfully the same throughout the school year), and the same COVID! For her benefit, we chose to have her attend in-person school instead of virtual. That way, she at least got to be with her new folks for half of the school year! I should probably mention here that she got her baby sister this year, so that has been a whole new experience for her!

Despite all such bumps or changes throughout the first two years of her schooling, my darling thrived! During her Kindergarten Graduation, she was given the "Expert Reader" Certificate! Her teachers mentioned that she reads beyond Kindergarten age! She has indeed finished reading one full Geronimo Stilton book which is a 100+pages book at age 5! 

I looked at my daughter's Graduation picture and was immediately reminded of my dad! He did not have the privilege of completing his education in his childhood so in his perspective providing education to us was his prime duty. So when my brother and I graduated, my father was ecstatic! He felt satisfaction, completion, and a level of achievement through our graduation! When my daughter graduated from Kindergarten, I could feel him as a parent. This is literally the first step, I know! But despite the crazy two years and all the emotions, my daughter did well! When life is going to be as unpredictable as it always is, I know my daughter will do well!!! 

I've got this!

Triangle watermelons

Summer is almost here! We are starting to feel the heat and the dehydration in our bodies, so dearest hubby has been buying the family favourite watermelons, which, being high in water content is so refreshing!

The latest watermelon he bought was from a wholesale store where everything has to be bought in bulk quantity, so naturally, the watermelon had to live up to the reputation- this one was massive!

We usually cut the fruit into square pieces and refrigerate them, so that it is easy to pick a few pieces when we have to consume them. But this time, we ran out of space in the refrigerator (we had already stored 3 big boxes, and we still had 40% of the watermelon left to be cut). So we decided that we'll cut triangular pieces and just eat them. 

The triangular watermelons that were thus cut reminded me of a childhood memory, a rather embarrassing one!

Once we visited our relatives' place in Vijayawada. This family was comparatively a large family and so when the adults got to discussing the serious stuff, they ushered us all inside a room to watch something on the TV. I don't remember why, but the lights were all switched off for the show. The snack that all of us received was a triangular piece of watermelon. Till then, though I tasted and liked most fruits, we never had them on a regular basis. And when we had watermelons, my mom used to give me the square pieces. So this triangular version was new to me. Coming back to the show, it was very dark inside the room, and the fruit was so juicy and sweet, I didn't want the juice to fall on me, so wanted to finish eating quickly. Then after a few minutes, when the show was done, my eldest cousin pulled back the curtains, switched on the lights, and brought a plastic cover to each one of us. I did not understand what she was up to with the plastic cover, till she reached me and I looked into it. She was passing the bag to collect the watermelon skin from all, and I had none left with me. I had eaten it ALL up! Though the juiciness and sweetness reduced more as I ate into the skin, I remember thinking to myself "I should not waste food", and literally ate it all up!

The way my cousin looked at me, she would've probably thought that she would find the skin hidden somewhere in that room at a later point after I left! I don't remember anything else that happened that day because I was completely embarrassed by this incident! 

As I recollected and shared this story with my daughter, she had a hearty laugh whilst enjoying the yummy triangles! In no time, we collected quite a number of watermelon skin pieces;) !!!

A late Valentine's Day post!

A late Valentine's Day post!

Well,it's never really late to post anything about love, for it does not have to be confined to one day... so here it goes:

Be a Lover
Not necessarily a romantic
Not by caste or creed
Not by race or ethnicity
Not by man or woman
Not by living or non living
Never by money or status
Be just a lover!
Love is such a beautiful phenomenon, most often misunderstood, or misused!
Nature teaches us, God shows us every passing moment!
If only we love the way we should, unrestrained and ever flowing, how divine our lives would become!

Let it flow!

#Happy Valentines Day

Animated movies

Animated movies have been one of my favourite kind of movies for a very long time! I have to accept I have not watched every single movie out there... I might have watched a very small percentage... but the ones that became my favourites have been stories with some kind of faith or philosophy throughout the movie.

These movies in my perspective imbibes the essence or the way of life within the story.. In a span of an average of 90 minutes, there's a good part, a problem part, a realization part, and a making things right again part in the story. Though the formula repeats for all successful movies, I like the formula in particular because that is, in essence, the success formula for life too! In every phase of life, be it life of a plant or a creature or humans or aliens, there are going to be hiccups or difficulties. Because it is  a work in progress... life happens every moment.  It is not perfect, it doesn't even have to be perfect.  It is just the way it is. The solution for glitches is not to abstain from going forward and living life, not to hide behind false ego, not to create a safe zone to stay where you are... the idea is to move forward... forward maybe things you enjoy, or maybe not.  We need to keep going forward. If the current experience is bad, the next maybe something we relish... come what may, moving forward with the same state of readiness is what is important.  

Some of the thoughts that keep me going and rooted to reality, that have come in animated movies are:

1) Quotes from The Lion King- the whole movie is a treasure box of inspirational quotes... the few ones that stick to me-

2) Kung fu Panda- Oogway,the ultimate Guru

3) Moana-

4) Trolls- Happiness overload

5) Brave

6) Tangled

7) Finding Nemo

Watching animated movies fills me with hope when I'm going through a tough phase. It reinstates the lost faith, throws a ray of sunshine, makes me look forward to the bright side when it comes, teaches me time and again that it is ok to hit dead ends or cross roads... it is ok to try and fail... but important to not stop at that failure but push forward to reach the better side...

Inspiration comes from anywhere, no matter what inspires us, we just need to be open and receptive to use it for our betterment.


#Good Vibes

Random thoughts:The other side of the empty glass

Why the glass should always be half full instead of half empty...

I was 8 years old when I relocated with the rest of my family to Chennai, leaving my father to work abroad. The only feeling I had was that my dad was living separate from us and I was missing him... Whenever we met people, distant relatives or friends, they always used to ask, "Do you like Chennai or did you like Muscat better? "

Not only then, till date I don't know the answer to that! All that I felt in my heart was that I missed my dad! I didn't have any opinion for anything at that age..! Of course eventually I figured an answer to give to people readily if and when somebody threw that question out at me... but it was just some answer that I had to tell to navigate myself through that question...

After many many years, my little family (husband, daughter and I) decided to move to Toronto from Chennai... It has been a little more than two years since we came here... But again, I'm required to answer the same question, with the only change of the locations  involved... Well, now I really cannot think to myself "I'm just little, why do everyone keep asking me this question" because I am an adult and my mind was an active part of this decision to move here as a family... But I still cannot find an answer when I'm faced with this question...

Each place has its own pros and cons... when I was in Chennai,  I was so used to it... I grew up there... My personality developed there... It was my home! My friends, relatives everybody and everything was there.... it still is... obviously my heart reaches out to anything involved with the place... 

Here, do I like this place? Well, it's not bad if you know how to layer up during winters.. Am I comfortable? Maybe yes, maybe not... Any complaints at all? Well, I miss home!  I miss the family.... I miss my group... Hmmm, can anything be done about it? Well, God willing, maybe in due course...

So again, I don't find myself with a concrete answer... In recent days, the fact that I never have a concrete answer started bothering me... I am a kind of person with very less wants... I go with the flow... And I very recently realized, how that would really shock someone who have things planned, I would probably be classified as an aimless person with no ambition in life... (I know what my priorities are, for the record)... But I simultaneously realized that because of this nature of mine, because I'm less picky and I don't have the need to have choices I am more adaptable... I can fit in whichever place I choose... God, made me to be born in a desert, relocated my path to a tropical country, and now I'm in one of the coldest countries... Extreme Hot to Extreme Cold!! All within just three decades ... And I'm doing alright.... I don't have to be great all the time to live/enjoy my life.... I have whatever I need to survive without any complaints... Isnt that enough? 

No complaints =Being happy

I realized the real meaning of the saying "Happiness is a state of mind"... 

Living without any complaints! How big is that? No reason to worry! Let that sink in..!!!

Instead of counting the blessings and identifying the goodness in the moments of our daily lives,  we have gotten into the habit of picking the tiniest thing that went wrong and keep complaining about it till we get the next teeniest to latch on... how crazy or disgusting is that? 

One of my colleagues used to say "If you're still alive, that means the problem wasn't big"! How true is that?!

Happiness is truly a state of mind... We dont have to feed our mind with problems and worry... If we let go,  trust me it feels good! So, I CHOOSE to be happy! This is what I want for myself! SO BE IT!!!

P.S. I Love You

Darling Dad,

It's a month now. You decided to move on from us  on your 65th birthday... At that time, I thought I understood. Medically the doctors lost hope, your body wouldn't respond, all your vital organs failed. You were so much in pain that they had to keep you sedated. Despite that, when I came, you responded to me. When I  said your grand daughter had also come along, you tried to say something to me. Can I say I'll cherish those moments? I know it's going to be permanently etched in my memories...

I've been wanting to write this dedication to you for so long now... but how do I write about a relationship in mere words? Well, I am writing now because I want to ease my pain of losing you. I don't think this is helping though.

You've always said that your son and daughter are none but your parents... I am not sure if our relationship was mutually respectful because of that.  This has been the case right from when I remember. By including us in discussions, you gave us responsibility very young, made us understand what is to be valued in life. You sent us to India with mom pretty young in our age because you wanted us to grow independent and street smart. Anything that we wanted came with a cost, which you made us understand and respect.  You made sure you provided well for the family. So many times when I have asked you for something that would be out of budget for the month, you'll ask me why it was important to me. If it was justified,  you would always say "dont think about money if this is useful for you. I will always provide money. " And you will stick to your word. Particularly when it came to education, you have not had a moment to spare for second thoughts.

While you did whatever had to be done for the family, you provided for others too. You taught us by being a living example that it's important for us to share our resources with people who are needy in whatever way we can. I have lost count as to how many fees you've paid for numerous people, responsibilities and duties you have taken up performing various roles in your life even when we were in financially tight spots. 

I remember the early days of being separated from you.  I was crying one day and amma (who very rarely sheds tears) also broke down trying to console me. She said "do you think this is easy for all of us?  It is also very difficult for appa. At least we are together here, whereas he's living there all alone working his way to ensure that both of you make good lives for yourself.  If you really feel the pain, you need to study hard and make sure that you don't fail him and his efforts".

I thought the separation all along would probably  be easier for me to cope up with your loss...

But i was wrong. Though we were separate, you were always there for me. There was always a routine... you would always call. You would talk to me... there always was a good 30 days when you used to come beaming for annual vacation... the beam used to shrink each day closer to the day of traveling back and the final week of your stay you always used to say "Study well, take care of your mom" etc.... there always used to be a next time. 

When i came for our annual vacation this time, I didn't know that was going to be the last time I would see you beam at me! Had i known, i probably wouldn't have left....! Now there's no next time anymore... I never knew I could miss anybody more. I miss our routines... I miss your intervention in my life... I wish there's a next time...

Well, I dont know what else to say.... I don't think I will ever stop missing you. But maybe sometime in the future I will be ok with the fact that you are no longer there physically. I just hope you are still a doting dad,  guiding us from above, like always.

Love you forever!



#Still-a-heavy-heart!

HOW LOUD ARE YOU?!

How loud are we?!

To answer this question, maybe we should take a different angle to it- "when are we loud?"

In the most basic example, we raise our voices when we are angry. We don't shout out loud during intimate moments or when we have meaningful discussions... We might fight with friends or family, but when we emote how much they mean to us, we don't raise our voices... Imagine if the person came by your side, held your hands, looked in your eyes and shouted "you mean the world to me, even more"! How weird would that be?!

No, we are not loud when we speak from our hearts... We are not loud when we genuinely show compassion to a person... We are not loud in our intimate moments... We are never loud when we feel the love flow through us...

Just like how the proverb goes "Empty vessels make most noise", in the absence of love within, maybe a person becomes more loud? Maybe the word LOUD was derived as a by product of not being LOVED? Maybe by being loud, they are trying to find more attention and place themselves in a position to receive more love? 

When the world around us is so noisy, is it because nobody is getting the necessary dosage of love? Not physical in any way, but the pure love from friends, a partner, parents and community? 

Is this the crux of every spiritual message? 

Maybe, if there was overflowing love for every being, the world and our minds will be less noisy!

Next time, if and when we encounter a loud person, let us think whether that person is loved enough!

#Another_random_thought